Info on 13 Reasons Why
13 Reasons Why is a hit series that came out on Neflix this past March. The series follows a group of high school students as they piece together a story left behind for them by their classmate who died by suicide.
We would like to make parents aware of the popularity as well some concerns regarding this series. We also want parents to know that this series is age rated as 16+. There are some parts to this series that are graphic and not appropriate for middle school age student. Parents should know that 13 Reasons Why does not shy from mature issues. Some of those issues are teen drinking, graphic rape scenes, and lots of swearing.
Below we have included an article from the May SCIP newsletter that is sent out to schools on a monthly basis. It includes more information about the story itself and also touches on some of the concerns of the series that parents of middle school kids should be aware of.
We have also included a list of talking points about 13 Reasons Why that have been provided by SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education) to assist parents, teachers, and other gatekeepers in talking to youth about suicide as it relates to this situational drama. SAVE was one of the nation’s first organizations dedicated to the prevention of suicide. Their work is based on the foundation and belief that suicide is preventable and everyone has a role to play in preventing suicide.
Excerpt From The May SCIP (School Community Intervention Program) Newsletter
While this popular series sheds light on important topics, there are some shortcomings in its execution. Without mention of mental illness, which affects one in five adolescents, and coming dangerously close to romanticizing suicide, this show is missing a crucial opportunity to discuss an issue that is affecting so many teenagers. Additionally, there is no example of successful help-seeking with a theme of silence throughout the story. As Hannah’s classmates struggle with the aftermath of her suicide, there are no scenes highlighting her peers reaching out to talk with their parents, teachers, or coaches despite having a difficult time coping. Without showing how to ask for help, or that treatment and counseling are available, the show is only depicting what not to do without giving an example of what to do.
In addition, there is an unfortunate scene in which Hannah visits a counselor at school and discloses that she has been raped and is struggling. The counselor not only doesn’t offer hope, compassion, or resources, but blames her for the rape and lets her leave while she is clearly distressed. Schools need to be aware that teens are getting this message and make sure students know that their counselors are responsive.
Despite some of its faults, 13 Reasons Why does provide insight into the cultural psyche of the 21st century American teen, and will certainly resonate with viewers. It is a good time to remind students of the messages of hope that you have instilled using the SOS Program and stress that suicide is never the solution. Remind students that there is always something they can do if they are concerned about something someone has said or done in person or online: ACT
- Acknowledge that they are seeing warning signs and that it is serious
- Care: show the person your concern
- Tell a trusted adult
13 Reasons Why Talking Points
Provided by SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education)
· 13 Reasons Why is a fictional story based on a widely known novel and is meant to be a cautionary tale.
· You may have similar experiences and thoughts as some of the characters in 13RW. People often identify with characters they see on TV or in movies. However, it is important to remember that there are healthy ways to cope with the topics covered in 13RW and acting on suicidal thoughts is not one of them.
· If you have watched the show and feel like you need support or someone to talk to- reach out. Talk with a friend, family member, a counselor, or therapist. There is always someone who will listen.
· Suicide is not a common response to life’s challenges or adversity. The vast majority of people who experience bullying, the death of a friend, or any other adversity described in 13RW do not die by suicide. In fact, most reach out, talk to others and seek help or find other productive ways of coping. They go on to lead healthy, normal lives.
· Suicide is never a heroic or romantic act. Hannah’s suicide (although fictional) is a cautionary tale, not meant to appear heroic and should be viewed as a tragedy.
· It is important to know that, in spite of the portrayal of a serious treatment failure in 13RW, there are many treatment options for life challenges, distress and mental illness. Treatment works.
· Suicide affects everyone and everyone can do something to help if they see or hear warning signs that someone is at risk of suicide.
· Talking openly and honestly about emotional distress and suicide is ok. It will not make someone more suicidal or put the idea of suicide in their mind. If you are concerned about someone, ask them about it.
· Knowing how to acknowledge and respond to someone who shares their thoughts of emotional distress or suicide with you is important. Don’t judge them or their thoughts. Listen. Be caring and kind. Offer to stay with them. Offer to go with them to get help or to contact a crisis line.
· How the guidance counselor in 13RW responds to Hannah’s thoughts of suicide is not appropriate and not typical of most counselors. School counselors are professionals and a trustworthy source for help. If your experience with a school counselor is unhelpful, seek other sources of support such as a crisis line.
· While not everyone will know what to say or have a helpful reaction, there are people who do, so keep trying to find someone who will help you. If someone tells you they are suicidal, take them seriously and get help.
· When you die you do not get to make a movie or talk to people any more. Leaving messages from beyond the grave is a dramatization produced in Hollywood and is not possible in real life.
· Memorializing someone who died by suicide is not a recommended practice. Decorating someone’s locker who died by suicide and/or taking selfies in front of such a memorial is not appropriate and does not honor the life of the person who died by suicide.
· Hannah’s tapes blame others for her suicide. Suicide is never the fault of survivors of suicide loss. There are resources and support groups for suicide loss survivors.
If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide:
· Text START to 741-741
· Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)